Hindsight, Always 20/20.

First post. No pressure. None, none whatsoever.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tim Edwards and I am currently working towards a job in Game Design or Creation. I am scared to death of how different this job will be compared to all of my past jobs. No more do you get training shifts like you would in retail, this is the main event.

Strangely, I realized early on (approximately 13 years old, 10 years ago) that I wanted to do something to create games. I took all this time and researched the industry itself. So instead of actually producing something worthwhile, I now am better suited to give advice despite not being in the industry itself. As strange and ironic as this is, I find myself afraid. I'm afraid of the coming storm.

It is now, as it was then. It all started in my hometown of Sackville. I was having trouble finding a job as apparently I needed experience to get a job. As time passed, I got more and more nervous that I would never get a job. Suddenly, I got a call back. It was a local mall, apparently... they needed an Easter Bunny. Lesson 1, be careful what you wish for; Lesson 2, kids are all crotch height and can run exceedingly fast. After landing the role as E. Bunny, I applied to Burger King where I was dubbed Beethoven for my strange haircut. I took it as a compliment until one day I was told I was actually being made fun of.

After the BK I applied to a movie theatre, for free movies, the ability to work with friends and just to broaden my movie watching horizons. I indeed watched a lot of movies (terrible to amazing ones), worked with friends (got a wife out of the deal too, after 5 years), moved up through the ranks and improved my resume enough to go for something even better. I got bored with my position as Supervisor and applied at EB Games.

EB Games was my calling. I wanted to work there from day 1, but I needed the experience. Now I had the knowledge of games to improve sales at a new store and build my own clientele. Over the course of time, I too moved up here (Sales Grunt -> Assistant Manager -> Manager) and proved that knowing the product was indeed an amazing sales tool. I raised sales $550,000 in the year and a half I was store manager. I had gained a following and was consistantly having people referred to me specifically. This was my proudest moment, but as with all things, my time there got more frustrating. I hit a professional wall and got bored, with no say over how my store looked I became a glorified sales associate who was salaried. Things changed, but rarely for the best, and when I went from making 660k to over the million in an already saturated market only 3 years in... I began to feel closed. I had broken the million, now what? There were more people waiting in line for District Manager than I have a lifespan to wait out so where to now? I tried to set new goals for myself but found the store boring, and I was unchallenged.

I planned a move 3000 kms away from Halifax, to Edmonton in hopes of glory and fame. During the planning I quit EB Games and switched to a night crew at a local Staples. Strangely for me, the job became therapy. I wasn't losing sleep, I was eating three meals a day and I was no longer feeling stressed. All I did was clean, stock shelves, manual labour and meet people. Going from a position of authority to a position where I could just let go was exactly what I needed. I made friends fast, caught on quickly, and learned from watching the more experienced members of our team work. If you need to figure out a way to be efficient, find the boss and watch them work for 15 minutes. All in all, that job sadly ended it's two week term and now I am between a job and the move.

Now I have a week off. I stare into the future fearing this beast called "Game Design." Do I truly have what it takes to become as innovative and as influential as someone like Shigeru Miyamoto? Or will I find my games beside Tim Schafer's games in the bargain bin? I sincerely hope that we both avoid the bins of $10 cult classic titles. But in all seriousness, where do I go from here? I have a diploma in animation, to which I have been told I need to mess around with 3D Studio Max more to develop my own style. I almost feel like I paid for the program and a computer and a piece of paper equivilent to a reciept for my time, effort and money. What did I go to school for then? I only learned how to do the particular tutorial models, not the reasons behind making cuts here, or science behind animations. I am left standing in the sea of hopefuls drowning in potential hires and currently no life preserver is in sight. Here's to hoping I can get a job as anything at Bioware Edmonton.

This is only the beginning of the journey... wish me luck.